Are you one of those people who is constantly doing things for others, while always putting yourself at the bottom of your own list of priorities? If so, it's time to look at how you move yourself to the top of the list, where you belong.

 

When you consistently put others ahead of yourself, putting all your energy into doing for them, by the time that you get to yourself, you've used up all your energy.

 

There is a big difference between being selfish and recognizing that you are important too. Always making yourself a top priority, to the exclusion of those around you who deserve some of your time and energy, is selfish. Taking the time and effort to treat yourself well, and to put some energy into keeping yourself well and happy is not selfish...it's vital to your health and well being.

 

Some of us, particularly of the female persuasion, seem to be born to be care takers. We dote over our children. We wait on our partners. We fuss over family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. Everyone adores us for all the loving attention that we give them, but at some point we start to feel resentful of the fact that we never have time for ourselves.

 

People around us come to expect the attention that we lavish on them, and often start making demands of us. If you're a caretaker that puts everyone else first, you almost certainly have trouble saying no. You may secretly get angry with the person making demands ("Why do they always ask ME?") and angry with yourself ("What's wrong with me? Why can't I say no?"), but in the end we usually do say yes, whether we actually want to or not. It feels selfish to say no.

 

The reality is that we all have just a finite amount of energy. There has to be a balance. Putting every bit of your energy into taking care of other people and ignoring your own needs is counterproductive. If you take care of yourself, you'll ultimately have more energy for everything else in your life. You'll feel better about you.

 

EFT can be a useful tool for helping you to refocus on yourself. Give the tapping script below a try, and see if you can move yourself to the top of your priority list.  

 

 

• Even though I get mad at myself for putting everyone else first, and forgetting about me, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
• Even though I seem to think that everyone else is more important than me, so I don't see myself as a priority, I still deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
• Even though logically I know that I'm important too, and I need to give more attention to me, I keep using up all my energy on other people, but I deeply and profoundly love and accept all the parts of me, even the part that puts everyone else in front of me, and I'm open to the possibility that I can refocus on myself.

Reminder phrases:  

Eyebrow: I'm at the bottom of my own priority list  

Outside eye: I use up all my energy on other people  

Under eye: No matter what they need, I don't feel like I can say no Under nose: Saying no would be selfish  

Chin: But I get mad at myself  

Collar bone: For always saying yes to others  

Under arm: But always saying no to myself  

Top of head: I think it may be time to change my priorities.  

 

Eyebrow: I'm open to the idea that I'm important too  

Outside eye: And I'm ready to start looking out for me  

Under eye: Starting to release the feeling that I don't matter  

Under nose: And embracing my own value and importance  

Chin: I don't say no to other people  

Collar bone: Because I think they're more important than me  

Under arm: And I feel like their needs should come first  

Top of head: But it's past time to take care of me!

 

Eyebrow: My needs are just as important as anyone elses  

Outside eye: And I'm entitled to give time and energy to myself

Under eye: I'm deserving of that time and energy  

Under nose: Continuing to let go of my feelings of not being important Chin: Recognizing my value as a person  

Collar bone: Feeling better and better about myself  

Under arm: And realizing that I'll be better able to take care of others Top of head: If I take care of myself first.  

 

Eyebrow: Releasing my need to always say yes to others  

Outside eye: Because I'm just as important as they are

Under eye: I have the right to say no if I want to

Under nose: People won't stop caring about me just because I say no Chin: Feeling stronger and more confident

Collar bone: As I move higher and higher on my priority list

Under arm: Releasing the last of my feeling of not being important

Top of head: And bringing a healing energy to this situation.