“In the spring I have counted one hundred and thirty-six different kinds of weather inside of four and twenty hours.” (Mark Twain)
“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’” (Robin Williams)
It seems we’re going to get all of the above this weekend, as the weather won’t put the mockers on our opening extravaganza. The gates swing open at midday on Good Friday, and with that it will be a full throttle, heads down, see you at the other end-type summer. But it hasn’t all been sitting around, waiting for the sun, and polishing the boat, ooh no...
Pa was particularly pleased at the end of last year when Ma said he was finally going to get paid (after three years of doing it for the love of Ma...well, when she’s within earshot...) as there was no major work she wanted done to the place. After all, there’s nothing else to replace. Allegedly.
Bitter experience taught Pa that nothing was final until the money was in the bank, and lo, it came to pass that she’s done gorn and done it again. Apparently the ongoing improvements to Beeses take precedence over the financial well-being of He Who Must Be Ignored. And Ma is determined to add Beeses to the legend of the ship of Theseus. Hey, you don’t get Greek legends at Wetherspoons (but let’s not get into that or we’ll be here all day)...
So once the high tides that closed the Portway and rolled around the garden were out of the way, what did we do to beautify your return to the riverbank? Well, inside you may notice that the ceiling in half of the bar has been changed, and it has a matching new roof on top that may be a little more difficult to see (unless your name is Peter Crouch). The colour scheme has also been changed, making it gert warmer even as the rain drizzles down outside.We’ve widened the path that comes up from the jetty, but the biggest cosmetic change is a new seating area at the end of the garden, which should prove especially popular on a sunny afternoon to stave off the shadow thrown as the sun dips down below the huge ash tree behind the marquee. Beeses towels, produced especially for the reservation of places upon this prime seating spot, will be on sale shortly. And so will some Beeses t-shirts. Yes, we finally got round to it!
As is the Beeses custom, all the work has been done by Pa Beese without the assistance of anyone else, and especially without the hard work, dedication and ideas of dubious merit coming from Mike and Tom Pope, and Shaun Ashmead (Shaun also had nothing to do with the bar redesign and refurbishment of a couple of years ago, and you will have the opportunity of pointing this out to him yourselves as he will be working behind the bar for us this season). So no gratitude whatsoever is due to these guys, and Pa thanks you in advance for ensuring that this point is strictly observed.However, we will thank Clare for her continuing hard work in the garden, as long as she improves on her frankly insulting silver medal in last year’s Bristol In Bloom competition, and regains the gold medal which she won in the previous year. Honestly, to get beaten by some hanging baskets (no, really, we were...) is just embarrassing. Eh, Clare? EHH???
Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes. Another big change is that Ma has splashed out on a new engine for the Beeses ferry. Ma decided to act because she felt that there was rather too much splashing of a different kind last year, what with Pa managing to sink the boat for a second time, and the engine blowing a gasket not once but twice, resulting in some rather inefficient paddling. Pa feels quite strongly that dunking the engine in the Avon and the subsequent, er, unreliability, are completely unrelated, and I for one am inclined to agree.So we’re all looking forward to a year or four of stress-free ferry crossings, and what with Pa footing the bill, there will be no increase in the fare, with Beeses sticking to an inflation busting, recession beating, credit crunch fondling charge of 25p each way for adults, children, buggies and bikes for the fifth successive year - and dogs still go free!
Anyway, enough with looking back, what have we got coming up? Well, for the little Beesers we’ve got free face painting on Easter Sunday between 1:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m., and as is fast becoming a Beeses tradition, Straight Shooter will be kicking off the season on Friday evening with some rambunctious classic rock.
The music starts at 8:00 p.m., and if you fancy combining that with a curry (and who doesn’t?), Friday also sees the start of our Spice Nights. Every Friday throughout the season, Matt our chef will be rustling up a curry dish which you can eat in or take home. No booking is required, so it’s first come, first served (the placing of towels in advance is NOT permitted inside the bar).
One food event that you do need to book for is Ma Beeses Gourmet Fish Suppers. These proved extremely popular last year, due in no small part to Matt’s superb Fish Supper debut which was reviewed in the Evening Post, and as a result they all sold out several weeks in advance. Some eagle-eyed punters spotted on our web site that we were taking bookings for this year, and so every one is already half full. They’re on the first Wednesday of each month in the season, and places can be reserved with a £10 per head deposit.
All of our lovely suppliers are still with us, from Butternut Deli in St George to Taste at Barrow Gurney (did you know they supply most of London’s Michelin-starred restaurants? Bet you didn’t...). Ma and Chef have worked hard at the menus and decided not to change too much but there will be a lot more specials allowing Matt to show off even more. The scruffy git.
Back to the music: there will be more live music than in previous years with gigs twice a month on Friday evenings, all starting at 8:00 p.m. Ish. While most of the bands are local, we’ve already got one American act booked, and we’re working on securing a second. You can see which bands we’ve got coming up on our Calendar (along with all our other events), as well as our Open Mic nights which will be continuing.
We’ve also booked the North Somerset Community Brass Band to play on a couple of Sunday afternoons outside in the garden (weather permitting). They play a mixture of traditional and modern brass band music, including marches, light classical, music from the shows and gentle jazz. What could be better than sitting on a riverbank with a cool drink and the gentle tones of a flugel, cornet or euphonium wafting over the water? Missus.
Oh, and we’ll have loads of music at this year’s Beer Festival, but as that isn’t until the first weekend in September, we’ll talk about that one later.
Phew, you don’t hear from us for months and then we batter you round the head like Simon Cowell laying into a fourteen year old who has failed to provide him with another lame R’n’B hit. And on that tasteful note, we shall bid you farewell. There’s still plenty of polishing, picking and scrubbing to be done, and once Ma is out of the bath we need to get Beeses ready. We’re looking forward to giving you another cracking season, so come down and say hi.
Lurve
Ma and Pa Beese
Beeses Bar & Tea Gardens
www.beeses.co.uk
www.myspace.com/beeses
Tel: 0117 977 7412