Oh, right. Welcome to the latest instalment of a newsletter that is appearing with less frequency than a respectable Ingerlund performance. The last two newsletters have started with apologies for being so long since the previous one, but we’re over that now, so all we can say is y’all gits ’em when y’all gits ’em.
Sorry. Came over all redneck there.
Well, we’re already more than halfway through the season, so it’s not unreasonable to expect at least one boat sinking, some female-initiated spousal abuse, and a gratuitously unkind comment about Coldplay. But you’re out of luck this time as we’ve had a fairly incident-free season so far (an admission which is sure to reverse that fortune even as I type)...and Coldplay have been mercifully quiet too.
We’ve already had four gigs, two fish suppers and a brass band on the terrace, but fear not, we’ve got more of the same coming up. We’ve got four gigs over the next five weeks alone, and although next week’s July Fish Supper sold out weeks ago, we’ve got places available for August and September. Plus North Somerset Community Brass are returning in August and September to spread good cheer and gentle tunes over a Sunday afternoon. Who knew a flugelhorn could be so groovy?So here’s what’s happening in July. We all know lists are boring, but as Pa Beese is often heard to say, “lists are a useful way of effectively communicating a set of information in a concise, logical and clear format that helps the reader retain said information without a certain someone having to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, labouring every point so the recipient is driven to prefer gnawing their own foot off than be compelled to listen to any more and another thing that really gets my goat is the people who think they're going to get lung cancer if they don't move that clean ashtray off their table lorem ipsum dolor sit amet a-wop-bop-a-loo-bop-a-lop-bam-boom. Your Honour.”
I’ve heard him say that. A lot. Lists rule.
Wednesday 7 July
Ma Beese’s Gourmet Fish Supper Sold out. You’re missing bouillabaisse with rouille and toasted sourdough bread. Be quicker next time.
Thursday 8 July
Professor Beese’s quiz night The best quiz in Bristol. ‘Nuff said.
Friday 9 July
Live music: Straight Shooter present Bon Scott’s Birthday Butcombe Day Cheap Butcombe Bitter, Butcombe Bitter-marinated hot dogs, Butcombe Bitter-marinated band. It’s a theme night.
Thursday 15 July
Beeses open mic Local talent on your doorstep.
Friday 16 July
Live music: PRIME FUNK Collective Fresh tunes, killer grooves and wild solos.
Thursday 22 July
Professor Beese’s quiz night Again.
Friday 23 July
Live music: The Doubtful Guest Definitely a little bit country, and maybe a little bit rock’n’roll, but without all the guff, bluster and hoohah that often accompanies both.
The band links above go to their MySpace pages so you can check them out, and the Beeses Calendar has details of these events and everything else that’s happening in August and September. The main event of September is of course our annual Beeses Beer Festival, which runs over the first weekend (3 - 5 September). We’ll try and get another newsletter out before then (“yeah, right” I hear you mutter...), but what we can say now is that ticket prices will be the same as last year, so that’s a VAT-increase busting £5 on Friday and Saturday, and a credit crunch crunching £4 on Sunday. Weekend tickets will be available when we’ve set a price, which will be calculated by plucking a figure from thin air, multiplying it by Ma Beese’s bra size and dividing it by the average windspeed of December 1846. We’ve got music on all three days, with the Saturday night seeing the return of Elvis Fontenot and the Sugar Bees as headliners. A bunch of zydeco-playing nutters from sunny Stafford, they tore the place up on the Saturday afternoon at last year’s festival, and we knew we had to get them back. All that AND you get a free pint. You lucky bleeders.
Matt the Beeses chef has been turning on the charm this season by making Friday night a spice night, and we’ve had three specials on every weekend. These have included such exotic delights as a chicken fajita burger, lamb Rogan Josh, grilled mackerel with almonds, Moroccan lamb with mint yoghurt and cous cous, chicken Massalla, and rosemary & sundried tomato polenta. The curries are available for takeaway too, which has proved popular with customers living nearby.
You might not know it but many of our dishes are prepared using herbs from the Beeses garden. We often see people stopping to smell the herbs grown by our gardener Clare McLoughlin, so now you know that you can appreciate them in your tummy too.
The rest of the Beeses staff have also been performing to their usual high standards during some very busy periods, and it’s good to get comments from you telling us (and them) that. Our regular crew of Hollie, Leah, Amy, Lauren, Sophie, Josie, Ryan, Rob and Sam have been joined by Jody, Shaun, Andy, Phin and another Lauren (who has been given the rather unfortunate nickname of Ralph by the kitchen staff in order to avoid confusion). You don’t see much of Jody and Lauren...er, Ralph...because they’re hidden away in the kitchen in a proximity to Matt usually reserved for close family members. Shaun is a little easier to recognise - he’s the one behind the bar who’s just qualified for the national body-building finals. No, really.
We’ve known Shaun for a while now; he (and his brother Jason) did most of the work refurbishing the bar a couple of years ago (and a fine job they did too), so when he told us he was looking for work this summer, we were happy take him on. As you probably know, Beeses is not the sort of place that needs a doorman, but it was amusing to see one, er, over-enthusiastic customer on the receiving end of a stern talking to from Ma Beese, who noticed Shaun standing just behind. Looking back at Ma Beese, our new friend decided he’d rather be dealing with Shaun than risk annoying Ma even further. See, we don’t need him...Pa reckons he could take him any time (but then Pa thinks that mullets never went out of fashion).
And to finish: anyone who has spoken to Ma about Beeses knows that she’s always had big plans in mind. Well, she’s taken another step towards world domination, and she’s doing it one deli at a time. In April Ma bought the Butternut Deli on Church Road in St. George from Lucy Morgan, who worked so hard to establish a great reputation for her cakes, as well as selling a range of quality (often organic) products from local producers. When Lucy told Ma she was selling the business to start a family, there was only ever going to be one outcome, and in a stroke of marketing genius it has been renamed the Beeses Butternut Deli. That will become more apparent when we get round to replacing the sign...
We’ve been using Lucy’s cakes at Beeses almost since the beginning, and knew that we shared customers, so it seemed a natural progression. And of course that means Beeses will be open all year round now (although it won’t always be in the same place...). The deli is being run for Ma by the lovely Owen, whose previous catering experience includes two years cooking for 70 hairy-arsed sailors on HMS Chiddingfold. Owen is helping Ma out until she and Matt can turn their full attention to the deli in October, so if you’re in the area, pop in and say hello.
Well, I guess that didn’t take long. One more thing. Ma’s been hearing about this thing called SpaceBook, and she wants in on some of that kerrrazee interweb action. So she sent Pa to the shed and after a lot of hammering, shouting, and extremely loud AC/DC, he came out with the shiny button below. He’s not actually sure what it does, but Ma’s been assured that all the bright young things will know exactly what to do with it, so she encourages you to click with all the might your index finger can muster. Or she’ll poke you. Word.
Until the next time...
Lurve
Ma and Pa Beese
Beeses Bar & Tea Gardens
www.beeses.co.uk
www.myspace.com/beeses
Tel: 0117 977 7412